"What Not To Wear"

Biblical Style Rules in Parashat Ki Teitzei

For millennia, people have been talking about what to wear. This coming Shabbat we will read parashat Ki Teitzei. And in parashat Ki Teitzei we get a big lesson in biblical fashion faux pas. But as we all know, when it comes to fashion, rules are meant to be broken. Here is the verse:

“A man’s apparel is not to be on a woman, nor is a man to wear woman’s clothing—for whoever does these things is detestable to Adonai your God. (Deuteronomy 22:5).” 

The King James Bible translates it this way: 

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.”

Although the word “pertaineth” is fabulous, the rest of the passage is not. Oof. When you first read this, you might cringe. You might look at your own clothing and feel immediate judgement. Or rather, this might feel like one more reason Torah is just full of patriarchal bullsh*t. I don’t blame you.

But let me show you another way to read this. As with all things, let’s begin with curiosity. 

At the time this was written, what did men wear? What did women wear? Was this written because actually people wore ambiguous clothes and this law was trying to change that?

What were other communities around the Israelites doing? Many laws in Torah are about differentiating the Israelites from other peoples – was everyone just super genderqueer in their expression and God wanted the Israelites to be cis-normative, as we might understand it today?

How was this law implemented? Was it like laws about the speed limit where people kinda did it, but also...with wiggle room? Did people just totally ignore it, like, hahah yeah right! And what was the enforcement like? 

Lovers and interpreters of Torah have questioned this passage for hundreds and hundreds of years. So, let’s see what they have said:

In Torah Queeries: Weekly Commentaries On The Hebrew Bible (in which each section of Torah is interpreted through a Queer lens) we receive a fabulous essay by Rabbis Elliot Kukla and Reuben Zellman on this very passage. They write as follows:

“...the Talmud understands the Torah prohibition this way: wearing clothes of another gender in order to falsify your identity, and infiltrate spaces reserved for the ‘opposite’ sex, is what is forbidden. The key point here seems to be that cross-dressing is only prohibited when there are ulterior motives involved – in this case, the violation of another person’s space and therefore trust. When it comes to cross-dressing in and of itself, the Talmud is crystal clear: ‘There is no abominations here!’”¹

For the Talmud, the question is one of motivation. Are the clothes promoting or supporting some bigger and underlying wrong? We might think of this like we think of cultural appropriation today – wearing clothes or accessories to make fun of a culture or people. If the Talmud is saying you can’t dress to falsify your identity, then in fact you should dress to confirm your identity – to assert it. So, we must dress in a way that shows the world who we are, is that it?

“The great medieval commentator Rashi follows the Talmudic leader. He explains that this verse is not a simple prohibition on wearing the clothes of the ‘opposite gender.’ Rashi writes that such dress is prohibited only if it is done with the intent to commit adultery. Rashi’s interpretation further narrows the prohibition: one must not falsify one’s identify in order to seduce someone…Rambam (Maimonides) claims that this verse is actually intended to prohibit cross-dressing for the purpose of idol worship.”²

So we shouldn’t dress merely to worship false idols and we shouldn’t dress to seduce someone. What about the idol worship of gender norms or vanity? The almost literal idol worship of brand names and trends? And what about the seduction of people pleasing – of fitting in for the sake of it?

No, our clothes should be as authentic to who we are as we can make them. They should be sincere expressions of our souls – not used to muddle our voices but to sing out exactly who we are.

Now, let’s consider the practice that stands in complete contradiction to this Levitical prohibition. I’m talking about Purim. On Purim, we are asked to blur the lines between the categories we might take for granted as part of everyday life – man, woman, good, evil, sacred, profane, Jew, Gentile, revealed, concealed, etc. The God of Purim is mysterious and hidden. What you see if not all there is. One of the ways we try to experience this hidden God is by shaking up our surface level mindset through partying and drinking so much we don’t know the difference between Mordechai (one of the “good guys”) and Haman (boo!) the bad guy. Another way is by dressing in clothes not typical to ourselves – specifically in costumes and drag.

But alas, this is still permitted because as the Rabbi says, it is for the sake of joy! Again, as seen above, it is the motivation that is most important – the orientation of the heart – and not the clothes themselves.

Let’s sum this up. Clothes should not be used to enable cruel or unjust behavior. Clothes should help communicate the truth of who we are and/or aid in moments of great celebration. Clothes are like tools – a hammer can build a house or destroy it. Our tradition is asking us to use and wear clothes with the intention of manifesting deep honesty and great joy.

What would it look like if you dressed yourself in honesty in joy? What would you wear?

May your clothes uplift you!

me feeling uplifted at my dear friends’ wedding this summer. #honesty #joy

For much, much, much, more extended commentary on this topic and the verse in question, check out TransTexts: Cross-Dressing and Drag from Keshet

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1.  Rabbi Elliot Kukla and Rabbi Reuben Zellman, “To Wear Is Human, to Live – Divine.” in Torah Queeries: Weekly Commentaries on the Hebrew Bible, by Gregg Drinkwater (Editor), Joshua Lesser (Editor), David Shneer (Editor)  (NYU Press, 2009), 255.

2. Ibid.