Belief Before Behavior: Parashat Vayigash
Does it matter if everything happens for a reason? Or does it matter that we believe it does?
“Everything happens for a reason” is one of those phrases that makes my jaw clench. In my ears, it rings the same cheesy ring as “live, laugh, love.”
So you can imagine how I feel when, in this week’s Torah portion, we learn that Joseph believes deeply in the will of G-d to orchestrate people’s lives for certain reasons. Let’s see what we can do with this…deep breath.
Quick recap: Joseph (one of the 12 sons of Israel/Jacob and Leah, Rachel, Zilpa and Bilhah) was sold into slavery by his brothers. He ends up in a dungeon in Egypt, the Pharaoh discovers he can interpret dreams, and soon, he becomes not only the acting ruler of Egypt, but his foresight allows him to plan ahead and save the Egyptians (and some surrounding peoples, apparently) from famine.
After Joseph finally reveals himself to his brothers – who come down to Egypt seeking food because the famine has reached them, too – he quickly says the following:
“Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that G-d sent me ahead of you. It is now two years that there has been famine in the land, and there are still five years to come in which there shall be no yield from tilling. G-d has sent me ahead of you to ensure your survival on earth, and to save your lives in an extraordinary deliverance. So, it was not you who sent me here, but G-d.” (Genesis 45:5-8, translation from Sefaria).
On the one hand, maybe Joseph is back to his ways of grandiose self-importance (repeat: “to ensure your survival on earth…in an extraordinary deliverance”). On the other hand, what a way to deal with adversity. He was severely bullied by his brothers but never faltered in knowing his own worth. Even in the dungeons, when he had nothing to offer, he offered his mind and unique skills in reading dreams. Now, he has risen in opportunity and come to face his bullies (yes, he has been messing with them some) and shows that he bears no resentment. He has widened his perspective and understands his life’s purpose.
“It was not you who sent me here, but G-d.” And not just so he can show them he rose above it, but because something bigger was coming – the famine. In order for the entire family to be saved – indeed, the entire region – Joseph had to have been in Egypt.
I still don’t like the phrase “everything happens for a reason” because I can cite too many examples of what seem to my human sensibilities to be completely reasonless violence, death, and suffering that don’t result in saving an entire region from famine (also, I think this phrase implies that “everything turned out ok” and that of course isn’t always the case). So how do I square Joseph’s deep faith with what I know to be that more realistic vibration in my kishkas?
Perhaps we can focus instead on the result of Joseph’s belief. Joseph’s faith allows him to look beyond his brother’s mistreatment of him. It allows him to move forward and not get hung up on sibling rivalry. Perhaps it is not so much the belief itself, but what behaviors the belief allows for or encourages. Perhaps we ought to reverse engineer ourselves – what behaviors do we hope for, and what beliefs will get us there?
For Joseph, his beliefs in his purpose and the will of G-d allowed him to reunite with his family – to heal and forgive.
May we, like Joseph, hold beliefs that allow us to heal and grow. May we hold beliefs that bring people together in peace.
Shabbat shalom!